Energy Management Archives - CHCI

Why I’m a Hypocrite and My Challenge with Mental Energy

admin — Thu, 08 Jul 2021 10:38:29 +0000

I’m a hypocrite. There, I said it.

Leadership, both personal and professional, is an energy game. But it takes more than physical energy for peak performance. Leaders need abundant physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy to manage their stress and perform their best. And just like professional athletes, leaders need to train properly, regularly and on purpose to achieve the results they’re after. I help leaders do just that in Lunch & Learns, half-day workshops and even 8-week online courses.

So here I was—teaching leaders how to balance their energy—yet grinding my teeth at night. Waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing, thinking about work and then getting up at 3am to answer emails. Snapping at my team for no reason, putting undue pressure on them.

I’m Good at Talking the Talk, But I Haven’t Been Walking the Walk

I was not walking the walk and practicing my own teachings. It was time to step back and assess what was going on. I was totally out of whack! So I did an energy assessment of myself, just like I would for a client.

My Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Energy Level Assessment

• Physical: I eat well and exercise regularly. My recent check-up showed that I had the physical energy of someone a decade younger.

• Emotional: My EQ is fairly high. When I’m not stressed, I can manage difficult situations and people with empathy and patience.

• Spiritual: I know my values and refer to them regularly.

• Mental: I have the attention span of a flea; I can’t focus on anything for more than a few minutes, and my brain is on constant overdrive. No surprise that this is my weakest area. In fact, my husband calls me a shark, because I literally can’t sit down for more than an hour without jumping up to do something.

I Have the Attention Span of a Flea

Hmmm.. this is going to be a challenge. Ask me to run a marathon and I’ll train daily for it. Tell me to go gluten-free and I’m on a baking frenzy. Offer me the chance to work with emotional teams and I can’t wait. Tell me something ‘can’t be done’ and I will find a solution or at least a work-around. Yet, invite me to sit and read a book? I read the first chapter and then the last chapter (no joke) to save time. Buy me a cuppa? I’ll start getting antsy after 30 minutes. So working on my mental energy to improve my focus is going to be hard.

Very hard.

My Shark-Like Behavior Was Impacting My Family and Team

Yet I had to do it. Not only was my shark-like behavior impacting my sleep, it was also impacting my team and family. In addition, I felt like a total hypocrite. It’s like Ellen Page saying she had to come out while filming Freeheld; I can’t teach energy management and not practice it myself.

So where to begin on this journey?

I Started With My Limiting Beliefs

First, I had to look at my limiting beliefs, or the things I thought were true that held me back from changing my behaviors. In general, our society is addicted to activity, and rewards constant busyness. We applaud the person who pulled the all-nighter; we recognize the person who stayed late to get the job done. Yet there is no such fanfare for the person who leaves at 5pm; in fact, those people are ridiculed in certain organizational cultures as weak or not team players. In addition, it’s frowned upon to take all your vacation time or take any downtime at all.

This perception is problematic for many reasons but one of those reasons is factual. The University of California put out some interesting research on the upsides of downtime. The research says:

“You can’t think without space. If you’re always doing something, there’s no way to get anything new into your mind; there’s no way to reach new conclusions.”

Why? Because unstructured time stimulates the ‘default mode network’ part of the brain, where creativity and problem solving happen. When we perform any task at all, no matter how small, our brain switches to the ‘executive network control’, which is related to deductive reasoning. So it’s when we sit back and let our minds wander, that the creative ‘default mode’ kicks in.

Even Though I Fully Knew the Benefits of Downtime, I Was at Super-Shark Speed

My limiting belief was that ‘downtime is for wimps’. The research proved me wrong. My mind was buying into the idea but my body was resisting. Even though I fully knew the benefits of downtime, I was at super-shark speed, racing around the house to get things done.

What would I tell a client in my position? I’d tell them they needed to practice downtime.

I’m a kinesthetic learner, which means I need to touch something to learn it well. So I had to find a role model to physically, literally show me what down time looks like. I had no idea how to ‘do’ downtime.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to look too far: my husband. He cherishes his downtime; I don’t mean just an hour here or there. He is fully committed to detox Sundays, where he just kicks back and reads the newspaper…the old fashioned thing made from trees. He totally unplugs and sometimes won’t even get in a car.

I Started My Practice Small, Slowly Building Mental Muscle

So I started small. I sat down for 15 minutes to read a magazine. Then I got up to plan my work for the week. Then I sat down for 20 minutes to close my eyes on the couch. Then I jumped up, feeling guilty that I hadn’t wrapped the holiday gifts. Then I allowed myself to watch a TV show, once all the ‘work had been done’. Little by little, week after week, I taught myself to chill. Stare out a window. Pet our cats. Listen to music. Snuggle in bed with our daughter. Sit on a plane without compulsively checking email. It was torture. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I wanted to do something, anything, please give me a task! Yet, I knew that I was slowly building a muscle, just like going to the gym.

I Taught Myself to Chill

And the impact was clear, both at home and work. At home, I was more patient and easier to be around. I stopped grinding my teeth and actually slept through the whole night. At work, I started enjoying writing again. It was no longer a chore. The ideas flowed out of me and actually became my most popular leadership posts, such as this one on surfing and this one on EQ. And my best product ideas and client ideas came from daydreaming out the window.

The best part? I no longer feel like a hypocrite. I’m a leader who inspires other leaders to manage their energy, all of it, for peak performance.

Do you think you need more practice managing your physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual energy? I’d love to hear what challenges you have and how you face those challenges.

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.

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The post Why I’m a Hypocrite and My Challenge with Mental Energy appeared first on CHCI.

Why Emotional Intelligence Affects the Bottom Line

admin — Thu, 14 Jan 2021 10:43:17 +0000

It’s a Friday afternoon and Alexus is holding a status meeting with her team. After the project manager gives a complete update, Alexus breaks the news that the project deadline has just been moved up by three weeks. After months of working on the project, she knows this news won’t be taken lightly.

The project manager’s eyes grow wide before she replies that she’s confident that with a few adjustments to the timeline, the deadline will be met. Most of the other team members express their stress and concern but pretty quickly say that they can figure it out. The technical lead sits in the back silently staring dead ahead. Alexus leaves the meeting feeling like things went a lot better than she expected.

What she doesn’t know is that the project manager left the meeting fuming and replied to an email from a recruiter she was otherwise going to ignore. A few other team members went to the 40^th floor for coffee and one was near tears from exhaustion and anxiety about the new deadline. And remember the tech lead sitting silently in the back? She was actually communicating a lot with her silence.

As a manager, how is Alexus supposed to navigate team members who aren’t telling her what they really think? She asked for feedback and left time to discuss concerns, but no one seemed to express any. So what could she have done differently? Use her EQ.

What is EQ?

What’s EQ? EQ is similar to IQ; IQ stands for Intelligence Quotient whereas EQ stands for Emotional Intelligence Quotient. EQ is a measure of your ability to monitor, identify, understand, and use emotional information, whether it comes from you or from somebody else. This term became widely known with the publication of Daniel Goleman‘s Emotional Intelligence – Why it can matter more than IQ. For a comprehensive look at emotional intelligence, check out this informative blog post from The Babble Out.

EQ Improves the Bottom Line

Having a high EQ isn’t for promoting warm and fuzzy feelings in the workplace. It is directly related to the bottom line. Pepsi found that executives with high EQs generated 10% more productivity, had 87% less turnover, brought $3.75M more value to the company, and increased ROI by 1000%. L’Oréal found that salespeople with a high EQ sold $2.5M more than others. And when Sheraton decided to incorporate an EQ initiative, their market share grew by 24%.

You are probably wondering if your EQ is high or low. While this is by no means exhaustive, here are some qualities associated with high and low EQs:

If you have a high EQ:

You are able to admit and learn from mistakes
You can take criticism well
You stay cool under pressure
You are able to control your emotions
You can conduct thoughtful discussions
You listen at least as much as you talk

If you have a low EQ:

You often think others don’t get your point
You feel that being ‘liked’ is over-rated
You think people over-react to your comments or jokes
Usually, others are to blame for problems on your team
You think you shouldn’t be expected to know how colleagues are feeling

Having a high EQ is very nuanced. But the good news is that you can improve your EQ over time because it boils down to knowing how to listen.

To help improve your EQ, you must practice active listening, a crucial skill for managers and leaders. But what is it?

What is Active Listening?

There are five parts of communication—what’s said, what’s not said, words, tone of voice, and body language. Active listening is the process of fully attending to all parts of someone’s communication.

The truth is, there are many leaders and managers out there who aren’t the greatest at listening. That is understandable because while it seems rudimentary, listening is actually difficult. As a culture, we aren’t really taught to listen. Instead, we are applauded for having all of the answers.

On a more technical level, our attention span is a whopping 17 seconds, and our brain works 100 times faster than we speak. Also, feelings, assumptions and anxieties tend to dominate a lot of our attention while communicating, and that makes it difficult to concentrate on what others are saying.

The fact is that active listening takes practice. But where do you begin? You can start by understanding that listening comes in three levels. Many people are stuck on the first level, but in order to master the art of listening, leaders must be fluent in all three forms of listening.

Three Types of Listening

Here are the three forms of listening:

The first form is the typical conversation style of listening. You’ve already figured out what a person is trying to say and are just waiting your turn to share.
The second form is the ability to incorporate body language into listening. Often a person expresses one thing (like enthusiasm) verbally, but their body (arms crossed, chin down) is telling a completely different story.
The final tier is energetic listening. With this skill, leaders can sense a shift in the room when it arises. When someone is angry, insecure, or fed-up, a skilled listener will be able to sense it. For example, a leader might say, “Wow, I really felt a shift in the conversation when I mentioned the fact that we need to put you at 90% project management with our new client. What are your thoughts on that?”

If we look at the scenario above, we can see that the manager at hand was not moving past the first level of listening. To start, she didn’t register that her project manager’s wide eyes were communicating the feeling of being overwhelmed and fed-up. She also didn’t realize that when her tech lead was staring dead ahead and remaining silent, she was expressing irritation and the feeling that her voice always goes unheard. We can guess that the rest of the team members quickly agreeing to the new deadline were probably energetically expressing their anxieties. Yet our manager left the meeting feeling pretty good about things.

With active listening skills and a high EQ, this manager would have been able to read her team and address their concerns. She would have been able to problem-solve and offer help to increase the trust of her team. The overall communication in the meeting would have been greatly improved, and a new solution could have come out of a more productive discussion. She also may have prevented her project manager from starting to look for a job elsewhere.

Understanding one another is vital; the inability to do so is often the root cause of conflict, lack of engagement, and loss of talent. Yet truly communicating takes emotional intelligence and refined listening skills.

In the next post, we will talk about ways in which you can further develop each form of listening. We will also offer some tips to increase your EQ for the betterment of your team, as well your personal relationships.

Go ahead and rate yourself! On a scale of one (low) to ten (high), what score would you give your EQ? Why is that? I’d love to know.

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10 Questions to Ask Your Remote Team to Boost Productivity

admin — Tue, 12 Jan 2021 07:15:16 +0000

Thanks to the internet, it’s easier than ever to recruit employees from anywhere in the world. With a remote team, you can choose the best people for the job, instead of the best people from within a certain distance close by.

That being said, there are drawbacks to hiring remote workers. The biggest of which is that you don’t have the opportunity to engage with them face-to-face on a regular basis. This makes it hard to ensure they’re on task.

To maintain an organized work culture and enhance productivity – one which keeps employees focused on their work – ask the following questions when you do get the opportunity to communicate with remote employees.

1. Are There Any Other Team Members You Want To Know Better?

There’s a good chance certain members of your remote team would benefit from knowing more about what their coworkers do. In an office setting, it’s easy for workers to interact with others in their departments. When working remotely, this becomes more difficult. You should facilitate virtual meetings so each team member has the chance to learn about the people with whom they are working.

2. How Can We Improve Communication?

Don’t assume you’re the one person who should decide how to structure the communication processes in your company. Your remote employees may have their own suggestions. Asking this question gives them a chance to voice their ideas.

3. What Challenges Does Remote Working Present?

The challenges involved in remote work may be different from those an employee would encounter in an office setting. You might not know about certain struggles they’re facing in their role. It’s important to find out what’s working for them, and what could be improved upon.

4. Do You Feel Our Virtual Meetings Are Valuable?

You should be devoting a portion of time each week or month to regular virtual meetings, calls, or chats with your remote employees. Checking in on them keeps your workers on task.

However, don’t assume these meetings are inherently valuable. Ask your employees if they feel they’re truly getting something from your interactions. You may need to approach virtual meetings from a different perspective to make them more useful for everyone.

5. How’s Morale?

In an office, it’s not too hard to gauge employee morale. When your employees work remotely, you have no idea if they’re truly satisfied with their duties. Take the time to learn more about how they’re feeling and make adjustments when necessary.

6. Will You Be Traveling In The Future?

Many remote employees take their work with them on trips. Usually, they’re not as productive during these working vacations. During your regular check-ins, ask if they plan on taking any trips in the near future. This gives you the chance to prepare for a less productive week.

7. How Have You Been Communicating With Other Team Members?

Depending on the nature of your business, there’s a good chance you’re not the only person at the company with which your remote employees will need to stay in regular contact. Make sure they feel that communication amongst all relevant team members is running smoothly.

8. What Are Your Goals For The Quarter?

You want your remote employees to take ownership over their work. Ask them to outline their major goals for the quarter and compare their answers to your own expectations.

9. Do You Need Additional Training?

When employees work in an office, you can see if they need extra training to more effectively complete their work. You don’t have that luxury when they work remotely. Thus, it’s important to ask if they need any extra help and provide those resources when you can.

10. Has Anything Become Harder Since You Started Working Here?

Too often, managers assume that the changes they make to their processes are always going to be improvements. This isn’t necessarily the case. Sometimes, you can make changes that actually have a negative impact on the overall employee experience. Check to confirm that there are no areas where the job has become harder for employees.

Hiring remote workers gives you the chance to recruit genuinely talented individuals from farther afield than your immediate location. In order for them to be just as successful and productive as the ones in your office, you just need to make sure you’re keeping in touch with them and asking the right questions.

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Opening Pandora’s Box of Emotions Is Actually Good for Work

admin — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 09:23:58 +0000

Let’s talk about managing disappointment. I don’t mean disappointment in a movie or new restaurant. I mean bone crushing, can’t get out of bed disappointment in achieving a big dream. When you try everything to conquer a big goal and it falls flat.

I’ll tell you personally. One of my goals is to do a TEDx talk. I’ve been working on this goal for a year. I did my research, talked to people, asked for advice, made my pitches and truly thought I had a chance for two locations.

Rejection # 2 Left Me Devastated

When the first location rejected me because I didn’t live in that town, I was disappointed but didn’t give up. When the 2nd location rejected me, I was devastated. I had cultivated this relationship for a year, with positive indications along the way. I was mad, sad, frustrated, embarrassed, ashamed, dejected…a year of work for nothing.

I Moped. I Disengaged from Work. I Couldn’t Focus.

At first, I moped around and made snarky side comments to anyone who would listen. Then I disengaged from work, unable to focus because I was feeling so many emotions.

Then a leader approached me and asked me how I was doing. She mentioned my disengagement and asked me what was wrong. It opened a flood. I shared all my emotions in a torrent. My hands flew around non-stop. My cadence was lightning fast. My tone went up and down. My eyes became huge. And then it was over. In just 90-seconds, I let it all out.

And Then It Was Over

Then she said, “Wow. You worked hard for a year and feel rejected. That’s a tough spot to be in.”
I replied, “It is. And it stinks.”
“I get it. It sucks.”

The Catharsis of Expressing My Emotions Released Creativity and Motivation

After letting it all out, I didn’t feel defeated anymore. My creative thinking went back into full gear. I was once again motivated to continue my quest to become a TEDx speaker. And I will!

Here’s how the rest of the conversation went:

“So what do you want to do about it?”
“I want to take another crack at it. I have a powerful message the people need to hear.”
“How can I help?”
“Can you hold me accountable every month and ask me how it’s going?”
“Absolutely.”

She Could Have Told Me to Get My Act Together. But She Did Not

This leader could have avoided this conversation. She could have told me to get my act together. Instead, she felt comfortable letting emotions show up, knowing they’d eventually dissipate.

It Turns Out Motivation Was Lurking in Pandora’s Emotional Box

And they did…in less than five minutes. And my bone-shattering disappointment is the fire to get invited to another TEDx talk.

But unfortunately, that’s not the way it goes in most organizations…

Since Americans like to think of themselves as independent, resilient and hardworking, leaders will often deal with work disappointment by saying one of these expressions:

Come on. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
You’ll get over it. Just try harder.
Don’t worry. I know you’ll get there next time.
Or quoting Thomas Edison: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Do These Statements Actually Help A Person Who Is Feeling Defeated?

While the leader is trying to be supportive, do any of these expressions actually help the person who feels defeated? No. Why? Because finding motivation is an inside job. The only person who can turn disappointment into motivation is the person experiencing that disappointment.

Finding Motivation After a Big Defeat is an Inside Job

So what should a leader do? Take a page from the script of the movie Inside Out and allow people to feel emotions at work. If you haven’t seen the movie, I highly recommend it, even if you don’t have children. It follows the story of Riley, an 11-year old girl who moves to San Francisco from Minnesota. By using all her emotions, she leads a richer life than when she only felt the emotion of joy. Adding anger, sadness, fear and disgust to her life gave depth to her move and new experiences.

Feeling Emotions at Work is Important

Why is this an important concept at work? Because we are often told to check our emotions at the door—even bone-crushing disappointment. Yet that’s simply not possible, as we literally cannot make decisions and complete tasks devoid of any emotion.

Fact: It’s Your Emotions, not your Intellect Making the Decisions

In fact, neuroscientists have proven that the brain’s wiring unquestionably relies on emotion over intellect in decision-making.

Beyond decision making, psychologist Dr. Sharongalor says, “The ability to verbalize emotions improves communication skills, the ability to empathize with others and understanding of social feedback.” And guess what? Engagement is reliant on emotions too.

On a practical level, not dealing with employee’s emotions can be costly. A study by Mel Fugate and his co-authors, Angelo J. Kinicki and Spencer Harrison, found that businesses suffer when they don’t deal with employees’ emotional health. They write:

“If employees have emotional reactions and their employers don’t pay attention to those reactions, they can withdraw. They are more likely to take sick days, and if their frustration continues to grow, they will actually leave their jobs.”

Managers Are Afraid of Opening Pandora’s Emotional Box

I understand the hesitation…. feelings at work can get messy. Managers are afraid of opening Pandora’s Emotional Box, fearing that the emotions will overwhelm the situation. Yet there are ways to allow emotions to positively impact work without overwhelming the team. Here are three tips for that:

Three Tips to Let Emotions Positively Impact Work Without Overwhelming the Team:

1. ASK: “DO YOU WANT TO VENT, WANT ADVICE, OR WANT COACHING?

If someone is emotional and approaches me to talk, I’ll ask: “Do you want to vent, advice or coaching?” In other words, do they just want me to listen (vent), my quick advice on a situation or have me ask coaching type questions that’ll help them think through the situation? This allows them to make a decision and clarify what they want. Otherwise, I’d just make matters worse by giving advice when they want to vent or asking questions when they want advice.

2. IF AN EMPLOYEE WANTS TO VENT, SET A TIME FOR TWO MINUTES AND PAY FULL ATTENTION

If they want to vent, I literally set a time for two minutes and let them vent as much as they want, often egging them on. I can honestly say that when I pay full attention to people when they’re venting, they have never gone over two minutes. It’s like a balloon was popped…they just fizzle out. Then they take a deep breath and we can move on.

3. LISTEN TO BOTH WORDS AND NON-VERBAL CUES

Finally, truly listening to both their words and their non-verbal cues, with my full attention, often helps them feel the feelings and move on. Why? Because people are desperate to be seen and heard. Listening with full attention will increase their trust in you and help them determine next steps.

4. HOLD A LISTENING MEETING

Holding a listening meeting is a great way for leaders and managers to handle emotions that may otherwise go unchecked. And unchecked emotions tend to fester, causing all kinds of problems from disengagement to downright quitting. But what is it? A listening meeting is when a leader or manager has meetings with various teams to simply sit down and listen. Questions to start the meetings might be, “So how do you feel about this meeting/project?” or simply, “How are you doing?” In this scenario, don’t forget tip number three—pay attention to body language. And while you’re at it, be sure to note what is being communicated energetically.

Do you notice a trend here? Three of these four tips have to do with listening. Having good listening skills is a powerful tool for leaders who want to make a positive impact on their teams.

Leaders, when is the last time you encountered the emotions of an employee? How did you handle it? Did it make you feel uncomfortable or did you see it as an opportunity to build trust?

What about expressing emotions at work? When is the last time you did that? I urge everyone to try it. You might just find some motivation in Pandora’s Emotional Box.

I’d love to hear your positive or negative experiences of either sharing your emotions at work or managing someone else’s emotions. It really can go both ways!

Leave a comment below, send us an email, or find us on Twitter.

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Six Simple Strategies to Reduce Stress at Work

admin — Thu, 15 Oct 2020 10:02:42 +0000

OSHA (The Occupational Safety and Health Administration) deemed stress a “hazard of the workplace,” and estimates put the cost of stress at $190 billion a year in annual healthcare bills.

And it’s not isolated to specific industries – the problem is widespread. 65% of adults say that work is the source of their significant stress.

On top of that, a joint team of Harvard and Stanford researchers looked at data from the General Social Survey and the American Community Survey and found that stressful jobs might actually lower your life expectancy.

Of course, not all stress is created equal. A certain amount of healthy stress in the workplace is actually a good thing. But there is a point where stress levels are no longer healthy. Here are some warning signs.

How do you know if your stress level is out of control?

If your stress level is too high, you may notice these symptoms:

Depressed mood – you may lose confidence, become angry, irritable, or withdrawn
You lose interest in your work, and a sense of apathy takes over
You’re unable to sleep or experience fatigueduring the day
You have trouble concentrating
You experience muscle tension, headaches, or stomach problems
You notice a decrease in your libido
You turn to alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism

The key is to manage stress so it remains at a healthy level and doesn’t become overwhelming.

Easier said than done, right?

SnackNation is here to help. Here are six tried and true methods for reducing workplace stress in one handy infographic – so you can get back to kicking butt.

Six Simple Strategies to Reduce Stress at Work

1. Form Positive Relationships

Positive relationships at work are very important. Even if they can’t solve your problems, the simple act of verbalizing your stress with someone you trust can actually reduce the severity – or clear it up altogether.

Additionally, friendships can take your mind off the stressors and provide a buffer between your daily tasks and your negative thoughts.

Here are some tips for fostering positive personal relationships at work:

Put down your smartphone! Instead of burying your head in your Instagram feed at lunch, leave your phone at your desk during breaks and engage with co-workers.
Encourage vulnerability. Vulnerability exercises are something we do at our SnackNation offsites. After breaking out into smaller groups of four or five, everyone in the group is encouraged to share something personal – often a meaningful experience from their upbringing. The relationships formed during these vulnerability exercises are the basis for some of the deepest and longest-lasting relationships at the company.

Start a “buddy” or mentorship program at your office. SnackNation gives every new hire a veteran “buddy” to show them the ropes, introduce them to people, and provide guidance and (judgement-free) advice. Remember, these relationships should be both personal and professional. It works best when buddies are from different departments, so there’s less chance of office politics becoming a factor.

2. Start Exercising (or Exercise More)

With its mood-boosting and endorphin-releasing properties, regular aerobic exercise is a natural stress reducer.

Exercise’s ability to elevate mood is well documented. Numerous studies going back to the early 80’s found that regular exercise can improve mood for people with moderate depression. In fact, a 1999 study found that exercise was just as effective of eliminating depression antidepressants.

Exercise also helps get your mind off your stressful thoughts. By training yourself to be in the moment and focus on your body’s movements (rather than mulling over your worries), exercise can be a form of active meditation and have a calming effect on the body and mind.

You should aim for a minimum of 30 minutes of activity each day.

If you don’t have the time to fit in a run or gym session before or after work each day, here are some tips to increase your mobility in the office:

Launch a wellness challenge. Gamify company fitness by launching a wellness challenge. Shoot for a team-wide goal, but also reward top performers to foster some friendly competition. At SnackNation, we passed out fitness trackers and added up our steps in a bid to virtually “walk” the distance from LA to San Francisco during our wellness month. Each week, we also named a winner for the most active team member.
Switch to an “Active Desk. ”Sitting for long stretches at your desk is not good for your health. Alternatively, standing desks get you out of your chair and on your feet. This works your stabilizing leg and stomach muscles, your heart, and lets you burn extra calories. We’re big fans of Oristand’s functional and affordable cardboard standing desks.

Take walking meetings. In a recent interview with the Awesome Office Show, BittyFoods CEO Megan Miller explained that she gets in daily exercise by taking calls while strolling through San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. LA-based skincare brand Murad also installed a walking track in their office space to encourage team members to get up from their desks during the day.

3. Eat Healthy and Nutritious Foods

Ever heard the phrase “eat your feelings”?

It’s a real phenomenon. Many people turn to unhealthy “comfort foods” as a way to manage stress.

Why does this happen? When we’re stressed, our brain releases the hormone cortisol, which makes us crave salty, sweet, and fat-laden foods for the temporary pleasure they bring.

But ironically, “stress eating” only exacerbates the problem. Sugar or fat-laden foods like pizza, burgers, and ice cream make us feel lethargic, and less likely to tackle the problems that lay before us, which in turn only increases our stress.

That’s why it’s so important to eat healthy foods that are rich in complex carbohydrates that fuel our brains and support concentration and focus.

Not sure what to eat? Check out Health Ambition’s Ten Light and Healthy Afternoon Snacks. And here are some quick tips:

Eat this:

Complex carbs like whole wheat bread or pasta and vegetables
Foods high in fiber like fruits and vegetables
Superfoods like Kale, Dark Chocolate, and blueberries, which contain mood-boosting antioxidants
Lean proteins high in mood stabilizing omega-3’s like wild-caught Alaskan Salmon

Avoid this:

Foods high in fat like cheese and red meat, which lead to lethargy and sluggishness
Foods high in refined carbs or sugar, which cause your energy to spike and crash
Caffeinated drinks like coffee and soda, which in inhibit your ability to sleep
Nicotine, a stimulant that can boost your anxiety
Alcohol, a natural depressant

And don’t forget, no other food category impacts your overall diet like snacking. The availability of healthy snacks will help improve your diet and keep your stress in check.

4. Get Enough Sleep

Stress has long been linked to chronic insomnia. But while conventional wisdom treats the inability to sleep as a symptom of stress, researchers at Harvard medical school found that poor sleep may actually be a contributing factor. That’s because a lack of sleep inhibits your ability to cope with even normal amounts of stress, and negatively affects your mood and outlook.

The point is, you can’t hope to reduce stress when you’re on edge and irritable from lack of sleep.

Here are some tips to get your sleep schedule back on track:

Shoot for eight hours a night. There used to be a stigma, especially among business leaders, that “sleep is for the weak.” The most productive people know that you can’t operate at peak performance without the regenerative effects of proper sleep. So don’t skimp!
Stick to a schedule. Set your body’s internal clock by hitting the hay at the same time every night. You should be able to fall asleep fairly quickly and wake at the same time each day without an alarm clock. And speaking of sticking to a schedule…
Avoid sleeping in on weekends. While it may be tempting, sleeping in can throw off this schedule and undo the progress you’ve made.
Turn off screens 1 hour before you want to go to bed. Whether it’s TV, laptops, or our smartphones, screens keep our brains engaged and make it difficult for us to fall asleep.

Take cat naps. We’re talking 15-20 minutes, max. While we definitely believe that naps are regenerative, don’t overdo it. Again, the goal is to get in a rhythm of getting proper sleep more often than not, so you’re clear headed and ready to take on the day.

5. Prioritize and Organize

Feeling overwhelmed is a major stressor. A great way to make a major reduction in your stress is to get a handle on your work by prioritizing and organizing.

Here’s how to do it:

Clarify Goals. Before you can prioritize, you have to set clear objectives. Make time to sit with your manager and clarify your goals. Be sure that your daily activities track back to one of your overarching goals.
Prioritize Against Goals. Don’t set priorities arbitrarily. Use your goals to evaluate the importance of every task. Ask yourself, “Is this getting me closer to or further away from my goals?” If the answer is anything other than “closer to,” it’s not a priority.
Focus on 2-3 things Max. There’s an old saying – if everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. Focus on the “biggest levers” – that is, the 2 or 3 things each week that will have the biggest impact on your goals.
Set Deadlines. As a general rule, if a task doesn’t have a deadline, it will get pushed aside for one that does. Set realistic deadlines for everything, and everything will get done.
Make a To-Do List. So simple, yet so effective. To make sure things get done, write them down in a notebook or a note taking app like Evernote. If you’re still overwhelmed by tasks, use task management software like Asana or Wrike to keep a handle on your daily activity, and make sure nothing slips through the cracks.

Use Your Calendar. Plan your weeks in your calendar so that you maximize the limited time you have each week. Make sure to schedule breaks in there as well – as in actually put them in your calendar!

6. Kick Your Bad Habits

Your outlook can have a huge impact on your ability to cope with everyday stressors.

Here are a few tips to change your mindset by breaking the bad habits that are holding you back:

Stay positive. One way to do this is to express gratitude. It’s surprising how much different your outlook is when you make a point to recognize the people and things in your life that you’re lucky to have.
Resist perfectionism. Don’t fear mistakes, learn from them. The desire to be perfect can make your stress spike and your self-worth plummet. Recognize that failures don’t define you, they’re just opportunities for learning and growth.

Focus on what you can control. Much of the anxiety we experience is over the uncertainty caused by things outside our control. The best way to combat that is to only focus on the things we can control – like our effort, our attitude, and how we treat people – rather than the outcomes we can’t.

Stress is Solvable!

While stress is real problem in the American workplace, it’s definitely solvable. Follow the tactics outlined here to bring your stress level back down into the healthy range so you can continue to experience breakthroughs and create some real magic for yourself. Also, developing your energy management skills will help reduce stress tremendously.

Have a great trick to reduce stress in the workplace that we didn’t cover?

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The post Six Simple Strategies to Reduce Stress at Work appeared first on CHCI.

Three Ways to Amp Up Your Emotional Intelligence Today

admin — Tue, 13 Oct 2020 09:20:48 +0000

We’ve all heard stories or perhaps even witnessed leaders who just can’t keep their cool. They may storm through the office, slam a phone down, berate a manager or simply send dozens of nasty emails. This type of behavior is extremely uncomfortable for employees to witness, eats away at organizational culture, breaks down trust, and is completely unproductive.

What would cause a leader or manager to behave that way? It could be anything. Maybe they are having family problems, or their brand new car broke down for the twelfth time, or their stakeholders came down hard on them that morning. The truth is it doesn’t matter why a leader behaves in such an explosive way. If the leader had a high Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ), this behavior wouldn’t be happening regardless of the reason.

What Exactly is Emotional Intelligence?

But what exactly is Emotional Intelligence? Let’s go to the source of the popularization of the term—Daniel Goleman. In this short video, Goleman explains exactly what Emotional Intelligence is.

Now that you’ve been refreshed on the definition of EQ, and I’ve explained how it can improve the bottom line, maybe your EQ needs refreshing too.

Last week I talked about how active listening plays a huge role in the EQ of leaders and managers. But there is more to EQ than listening skills. Today I will give you three steps to improve your active listening skills and three tips to improve your EQ as a whole.

First, let’s talk about active listening. There are five parts of communication—what’s said, what’s not said, words, tone of voice, and body language. Active listening is the process of fully attending to all parts of someone’s communication. Truly listening to someone is more difficult than it seems and requires practice.

Yet practicing takes more than just trying to be a better listener. To improve your active listening skills, you must practice these three steps: 1) Focus on yourself, 2) focus on the other person, and 3) focus on the environment. Here are some tips:

3 Steps to Improve Your Active Listening Skills

1. Focus on Yourself

Quiet your own thoughts and emotions
Make eye contact with the speaker (it will help you concentrate on them)
Mentally restate what you’re hearing them say
If you miss anything, or something seems unclear, ask them to repeat it

2. Focus on the Other Person

Make eye contact with the speaker (to let them know you’re listening)
Make appropriate reactions and sounds
When they’re done, repeat what you heard out loud
Do this until you’ve clearly heard what they were trying to say

3. Focus on the Environment

What do you hear?
- Restlessness? Calm?
What do you see?
- Head-nodding? Phone use? Taking notes?
What does your EQ say?
- They’re losing interest?
- Or: They like this idea!

Practice each step of listening until you feel you’ve mastered all three. Ask a few nonbiased people if they perceive you as a good listener. Then actively listen to their responses! Active listening will greatly improve your leadership and will benefit all of your relationships—inside or outside the workplace.

Though active listening is crucial to good leadership, it is only one piece of the puzzle when it comes to improving EQ. Here are three other tips to help amp up your Emotional Intelligence:

3 Tips to Help Amp Up Your EQ

1. Practice Responding Instead of Reacting

Can you tell the difference between responding and reacting? The difference is subtle. Reacting is something you do unconsciously when faced with an emotional trigger. Responding is a conscious behavior— you notice how you feel in response to an emotional trigger and then decide how you want to react.

For example, let’s say you’re in a meeting with a team that you feel never listens to you. As you begin to share an idea you had for solving a common issue, a team member interrupts you by speaking over you entirely and explaining her idea. If you react, you may snap at that person. But if you respond, you’d notice that you felt anger, figure out why, and make the decision to calmly tell your team member that it is important to you to be able to share your ideas with the group, and you’d love to finish your thought before they began to speak. Its obvious which outcome will be more favorable.

2. Practice Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. In leadership, this is especially important for building trust. If you notice one of your star performers coming to work later and later each week, don’t write them off as a bad employee. Instead, talk to them about the real reason they are running late. If they are willing to share that information with you, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand where they are coming from. Respond to them with understanding. If they aren’t willing to share, think of a time in your own life where you behaved similarly, and examine why. Were you dealing with family issues? Were you feeling unappreciated? Were you not being challenged? Eliminate snap judgments and consciously practice empathy.

3. Listen to Your Body

Does your heart race when your CFO walks into the room? Do you have a knot in your stomach when someone mentions merging with a larger organization? These are messages from your body and you must listen to them. Pay attention to how you feel in various situations. Decide what those feelings mean so that you can respond to them with the powers of reason.

Developing Emotional Intelligence is a Lifelong Practice

In short, you can improve your EQ by practicing active listening, empathy, responding rather than reacting, and listening to your body. But it’s important to remember that developing Emotional Intelligence is a lifelong practice, and there is always room for improvement.

Here’s a question for you: Can you identify the most emotionally intelligent person you know? How can you tell? What types of behaviors indicate her high EQ? I’m excited to hear these responses.

Leave a comment below, send us an email, or find us on Twitter.

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It Takes Courage To Use EQ

admin — Thu, 30 Jul 2020 10:33:10 +0000

Emotional Intelligence. We hear the term all the time, thinking it’s some abstract leadership model that only the elite use to improve themselves and their teams.

I’m here to tell you that EQ is real and the opportunity to use it occurs many times a day, if you’re willing to listen and use it. Here are three recent stories of how I successfully, and unsuccessfully, used my EQ in challenging situations.

Scenario 1: The Two-Minute Story Turned Tragic

I spoke at a team retreat, and although the word “retreat” might conjure up team building in a forest, these sessions took place in a classic Washington, DC corporate conference room, complete with overhead lighting, and a mammoth, glossy, wooden table surrounded by black chairs on wheels.

It Never Occurred to Me That My EQ Was About to Get Tested

While teaching a class on the 3 levels of listening, I asked an older man to share a 2-minute story about a time in his life when things just couldn’t get any better. The purpose of this exercise was for the rest of the class to listen and share what they heard at each of the 3 levels of listening, which are what you hear, what body language you observe, and what you feel energetically as you listen. I’ve used this exercise many times; it never occurred to me that my EQ was about to get tested.

As the man shared his story about taking a vacation with his wife, it was clear there was a misalignment with his words and his body language. He spoke about enjoying delicious food, meeting interesting people, and learning about new cultures, yet his voice was monotone, his mouth was turned down and his shoulders slumped. You could hear a pin drop when his concluded; I looked around the room, trying to fathom what just happened during a simple exercise.

I Was Trying to Fathom What Happened

I found out. Sadly, his wife had just passed away.

I had just unknowingly walked into an emotional landmine, where the man was clearly upset and the rest of the room was silently staring at him with tears in their eyes.

What were my options at this point?

Ignore the story and say, “Who else would like to share?”
Avoid the emotions of the moment and announce that it’s time for a 15-minute break.
Encourage the man to continue to share his story with the group for another 10 minutes.
Use my EQ.

How Should I Handle This Situation?

At a very basic level, EQ is about self-awareness (what am I feeling now?) and social awareness (how will my emotions impact the people in the room)? So while all this was happening, I had to quickly self-assess my feelings, which were sadness, embarrassment, panic and a host of others. I then had to self-manage my emotions so they didn’t impact the rest of the training. So here’s what I did:

Acknowledge the enormity of the situation by saying gently and with emotion, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” then waiting a few seconds before speaking again.
Acknowledge the man by saying “Thank you for your courage in sharing this moment with all of us. I know that must have been difficult for you. You are a brave person.”, then waiting a few seconds before speaking again.
Acknowledge the others by saying “I know many of you may be feeling a variety of emotions right now. Please take a moment and jot them down for yourself.”
Use the moment as a learning opportunity by saying “These types of personal, emotional conversations occur at work more frequently than you think. People often have hardships in their personal life that they inadvertently bring with them to work. As leaders, you need to embrace these moments instead of running away from them. You don’t have to go into therapy with the person, yet you do need to treat the situation with humanity and dignity before moving on. They will respect you for it.”

It Takes Courage To Use EQ

This was one of the hardest teaching moments in my life. Why? Because using EQ takes courage. It’s choosing the conversation that may be uncomfortable, scary and unfamiliar. Yet the rewards are trust, credibility and confidence.

Scenario 2: My Appetite Ate My EQ

Now let me take you to a hip tech company, the kind of wide-open office where you might see a French Bulldog sleeping under a desk, or a few guitars laying around. Don’t get me wrong, this company is full of professionals, but they work hard to keep their culture unique, welcoming, and people-centric. The conference room I spoke in was airy and full of fresh, fun energy.

While teaching a course on energy management, I was working with a group of young, emerging leaders on setting achievable physical goals that would help them reach peak performance. We were overdue for a break and I could tell that everyone was getting antsy; my own stomach was grumbling for a snack.

I Could Tell Everyone Was Getting Antsy…

One young woman shared that her goal was to go to the gym for an hour daily, while also running 3 times a week. Since the topic was about achievable goals, I asked her how achievable it was. I meant it as a rhetorical example for the group; she took it literally and started to share that she knew she could do it. I politely suggested we talk about it after break; she persisted and wanted to share how she was going to do it. I then again politely suggested we discuss it after break and called a break for the group.

I Was Stunned

During break, within earshot of others, she told me that I was rude and disrespectful to her. I was stunned and angry; that was not my intention at all. How dare she call me disrespectful?!

I had just unknowingly walked into another emotional landmine, where I was hungry, only had 6 minutes left for break, was called rude and the rest of the group was quietly watching this encounter.

What were my options at this point?

Loudly disagree with her, allowing the conversation to escalate.
Dismiss her point and tell her to “Grow up; it’s just one comment.”
Tell her to talk to her boss if she didn’t like the training.
Use my EQ.

How Should I Handle This Situation?

Self-managing my emotional reaction was not easy because I had low-blood sugar and needed to eat; I also knew the clock was ticking and people were watching. However, looking at it from her perspective, I also knew she was right. I could have handled it better. I had failed this EQ test.

I Got an “F” On This EQ Test

So I apologized for the misunderstanding. I looked her in the eye, apologized if I had offended her, and told her my intention was not to be disrespectful. I then shook her hand and thanked her for teaching me a valuable lesson. It was challenging to do this while my emotions were still running high and my stomach was still grumbling, yet I know that although I failed the initial EQ test, I had redeemed my EQ in that moment.

Scenario 3: The Questioning Scientist

Luckily at this gig, lunch was part of the program! Specifically, I was teaching a class on coaching at a “Lunch & Learn” for a large tech company, only this time—to a room full of scientists.

Coaching skills are one of the hardest management skills to learn, especially for people who work with data and facts on a daily basis. Why? Because coaching involves watching for non-verbal cues which can be hard to quantify.

It Was Time To Move On When a Woman in the Back of the Room Said…

After completing an exercise on non-verbal cues, it was clear the group was starting to understand how to watch for, and interpret, non-verbal cues. It was time to move on to teach the next phase of coaching when a woman in the back of room said in a loud, strong voice, “I don’t see how watching someone’s non-verbal cues is going to make me a better scientist or move our science ahead of the competition.” Every eye turned to me, to see how I was going to handle this woman and her comment.

I Walked Into a Land Mine

Yet again, I walked into a land mine. We had three more exercises to do in a short period of time, the rest of the group seemed to understand the importance of non-verbal cues and I was irritated that this person had thrown me a curve ball.

What were my options at this point?

Shame her by saying, “If you had been paying attention to what I had said earlier, you would be able to answer your own question.”
Ignore the actual question and ask her to talk to me after the session.
Redo the exercise, despite the fact that the rest of the group seemed to understand the point.
Use my EQ.

How Should I Handle This Situation?

As I mentally checked in with myself, I smiled to the group and took a deep breath to help self-manage my emotions. I then said, “Great question! What do others in the room think?” Two people then explained non-verbals from a scientific perspective, which not only helped the woman who asked the question but also complemented my information for the rest of the group.

Using EQ happens daily, in real-time. Challenging or uncomfortable conversations appear at random times, unexpectedly, at work, at home, in the community and everywhere in between. Your next text message may even require the use of EQ!

Often the conversations that need EQ the most are the messiest ones. Choosing to have the messy conversation, instead of avoiding it, takes courage. But if you are willing to be in uncomfortable territory, you can look at these challenges as an opportunity to build deeper relationships and develop trust.

I would love to hear your successes and failures when it comes to EQ! It’s something we all experience.

Check out the ways to manage your energy to reduce stress with our infographic

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.

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